


A Turnip By Any Other Name

by lost_spook



Category: Blackadder, The Avengers (TV)
Genre: Crossover, Ficlet, Humor, M/M, Random Pairing Generator
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-21
Updated: 2015-06-21
Packaged: 2018-04-05 12:15:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4179504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lost_spook/pseuds/lost_spook
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the temporary absence of Mrs Peel, Steed has another, considerably less satisfactory partner...</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Turnip By Any Other Name

**Author's Note:**

> The [Unconventional Courtship Generator](http://www.seasip.info/Misc/ucrpg.html) gave me this:
> 
> _367) The South Beach Search - Sharon Hartley_  
>  Not the treasure they expected to find...  
> Trading the past for a simpler life in Miami is part of yoga teacher John Steed's path to better karma. But when a devastating theft brings federal prosecutor Sodoff Baldrick into his life, things are suddenly a lot more complicated!  
> He's drawn to gorgeous Baldrick in ways he can't explain. His analytical mind prevents him from understanding why spiritual intuition guides him… and he reminds him of what he'd rather forget. But chasing a criminal, they can't dodge the sizzle of attraction. Now, unless John trusts Baldrick's determination to protect him, he might run again…and leave love behind. 
> 
> And then AstroGirl said it would obviously be impossible to write Steed/Baldrick. And, er, well, what can you do when issued with a challenge like that? *hides*

"Anyway," said Steed. "Thank you again for your assistance in this case. Your help has been..." He hesitated over the word 'invaluable' but even the inveterately gentlemanly Steed found that a step too far. "...unique," he settled for eventually.

"Oh, sir. Thank you, sir," said Baldrick, moved by the highest accolade he'd ever received.

Steed smiled. "And, as promised, I got you a little something." He produced a whole basket of root vegetables. "I trust that will suffice to show my gratitude?"

"Golly, sir," said Baldrick. "Thanks."

"And now might you be so good as to tell me exactly where Mrs Peel is?"

"Well," said Baldrick slowly, "the thing is, sir, Mr Blackadder told me I was on no account whatsoever to divulge that information. He said he'd do unspeakably horrible things to me if I did."

"Ah. Shame, shame. It's just that I would rather like to know."

Baldrick thought some more. "So if I was going to tell you, it'd have to be for something really really good. I mean, even better than a whole bunch of turnips and swedes. Not that they're not great, because they are. It's just that Mr Blackadder said he'd pull my brains out through my nostrils and so –"

"Yes, yes, perfectly reasonable," said Steed. "What _would_ make it worth your while?"

"Well," said Baldrick again, and then actually blushed. "Thing is, sir, I've never ever been kissed in my whole life and I was wondering –"

Steed sighed, closed his eyes, held his breath, and hoped hard he wouldn't catch something. The things he did for the mother country, he thought. And, not incidentally, also for Mrs Peel...


End file.
